Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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