Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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