Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
