all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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