I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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