He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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