just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
