i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
