so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
