...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
