East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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