apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
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