Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
