try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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