finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
