Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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