they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
