I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
