Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
