It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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