hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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