Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
