everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we're making bets on your personal life
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
