Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
