one two three fourrrrnication!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
