don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
