dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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