God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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