Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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