I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
