I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
