I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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