Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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