I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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