The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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