he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
