Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
