I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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