He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
