The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
