I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
