The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
