i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
