my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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