Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
