Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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