end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
