if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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