I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Everclear isn't food dammit
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
