another moral hangover. fuck.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
