if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
