those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
