but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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