I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
